Whose Boxes Are You Checking?

In Career, Friends, Happiness, Life Coach, Mental Health, Personal Growth by Chelsea Connors0 Comments

I used to think I needed to check SO many boxes. I mindlessly pursued the next “thing” because it was what was “normal” to me. It was what I thought other people expected. 

Everything from college, to spending years pursuing a 9-5 job, to marriage, to how much sleep I should expect to get, to how busy I “should” be, it all went without question. I just accepted the struggle and hustle for what’s next because it was all I knew. It’s how everyone I knew lived their lives.

At some point, I felt like I was working so hard, and nothing was working. I was not happy. Frankly, I just felt tired and disappointed a lot. I always thought I’d failed or something was wrong with me.

-I’d get a new job and 3 months later dread going to work. 

-I’d make X amount of dollars, and soon feel that it wasn’t enough compared to my best friend’s boyfriend who makes so much more. 

-I would spend so much time out late on the weekends with friends but still feel a bit lost and alone come Sunday night. 

-I trained for a half marathon, hating every minute, but wanting to be faster. I became a Crossfit coach and felt disappointed looking around to see so many people who were stronger than me. 

-I’d whine as I pulled myself out of bed each morning, exhausted by regularly surviving on 4-6 hours of sleep/night.

Why did this come so effortlessly to everyone except me?

I pushed so hard. I wanted to check the boxes because I thought if I did all the things *then* I would finally feel happy, secure and settled. 

It didn’t work. 

It didn’t work because those weren’t my boxes. I wasn’t thoughtful and intentional about the WHY behind the choices I was making, the things I was pursuing. I just went along with the status quo of seeking more, more, more. 

Until I crashed. 

Now, I still do things. I have a job and work that I absolutely love. I have a marriage that lights me up. I am training for a half marathon as I type this. Externally, I guess you could say not all that much has changed.

But I’ve changed. My intentions have changed. My self awareness has grown immeasurably. I’ve made small shifts that better align with who I am and what I want my life to look like. 

I’m checking only the boxes that matter to me, and in a way that aligns with the life I want to live. I prioritize my values and needs. I create my life on my terms. 

Sometimes, it’s hard. Absolutely. I’m not “happy” everyday. Things don’t always go perfectly. I’m still a human being who makes mistakes and feels the whole range of emotions. 

But the truth is, even when what I’m doing feels hard, I know that what I’m working towards really matters to me. I have a clear understanding of why I’m doing what I’m doing.  Because I’m rooted in to what I need and want as I go about my life, I FEEL so much better. Life feels so much better.

Here’s where I see my clients getting stuck all the time. So many of us see things as black and white, on or off. We mindlessly pursue things that we hate because we feel like we “should.” We forget that we have choices and options and that there are many, many ways to do things, and to live a life that feels good to YOU.

So I ask you…

Whose boxes are you checking & why? 

If you’re itching for something more, for a deeper understanding of yourself, for a clearer picture of what your boxes are and how to manage them in your life, I know how to help. Click here to schedule your free call to learn more about how I can support you!

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