Ready to kick FOMO to the curb for good so you can start actually enjoying your free time? Start here!
FOMO – lovingly defined as the fear of missing out. That sneaky, sneaky feeling so many of us get at the thought of claiming a night in, saying no to brunch or opting out of a weekend trip. That ache in your gut that has you feeling like sad sally on the outskirts watching life go by.
“But what if I miss something important? What if they have fun without me?! Doesn’t being alone or staying in make me a loser?”
Oh. the. worry. FOMO can really lead us to a spiral of self doubt and anxiety.
FOMO impacts so many clients that I work with, and so profoundly, that they find themselves living lives they don’t enjoy, surrounded by people they don’t actually value… OR they feel absolutely drained and disconnected from themselves and what they actually need. This is what happens when our actions don’t align with our gut/intuition.
Now, let’s welcome in JOMO. JOMO, on the other hand, is the exact opposite of FOMO and is defined as the JOY of missing out.
JOMO started being thrown around (at least to my knowledge) on the interwebs about a year ago as the “self care” movement seems to be growing in popularity (YUUUUUS).
Personally, I think FOMO sucks and here’s why —
- We end up doing shit we don’t want to do over and over and over again!!
- We feel forced/pressured/guilty whenever we *try* to say no or change the plans (oof, people pleasing)
- We hang around people that we may not actually want to spend our time with
- We miss out on doing what actually feels good for ourselves/our bodies/our lives/our time
- It perpetuates the cycle in our society (Think about it: If we all got more comfortable with opting out of things that don’t feel right for us, maybe we’d be okay with other people doing it and have stronger, healthier relationships as a whole society?!?!?)
Here’s how you can turn your FOMO into JOMO more often —
- Find some shit you LOVEEEEE doing. (This can be a Netflix sesh on the couch, getting out in nature, running, ceramics, skateboarding, eating cheese and wine(mindfully), taking a bath, learning guitar). You do you! Find what lights your soul up. Make it an experiment. Maybe start by giving yourself an hour/week to just do something you’ve really been wanting to do. See what sticks! What does FUN look like for you?
- When deciding whether to choose FOMO or JOMO, ask yourself: Is it okay for me to enjoy just being me right now? Can I be present with where I am/what I’m choosing to engage in? What do I feel I’m missing in this moment and is there a way I can provide that for myself right now? What’s fueling that FOMO?!
- Test the water. Taking on that experimental lens once again – can you try opting out of something and opting in to something that feels even better for just one week? Let yourself say no when you mean it and fill that time with something else. How does that feel for you? What are you needing?
- Approach what you usually avoid. I think FOMO may be a function of insecurity and avoidance – like we feel unworthy on some level if we’re not there for it all, or maybe if we’re not the center of attention and I love you all sooooo much that I’m going to straight up call BULL SHIT. Learn to love yourself you wildly unique, exciting, important human being. If you don’t like being alone, or having conversations
So now that we’ve called ya out on some of your BS and you’re getting more comfortable with who you are as a person and that being alone doesn’t make you “lonely” or a loser – can you maybe learn to love it? It’s okay to LOVE alone time. It’s okay to genuinely really fricken enjoy the things you “miss out on”
…And guess what? You have time to make endless memories in your life but you won’t enjoy them nearly as much if you’re worn so thin, disconnected or disengaged. You won’t enjoy the times you do say yes because you won’t be able to be present and really immerse yourself in the here and now with the people you love, ya know? And those times you do miss out on, would your friends be willing to share what happened if you want to know? Can it be okay for the people you love to have fun without you sometimes too? 🙂
Wake up my friend. Being alone, slowing down, staying in, opting out, is a beautiful luxury sometimes. You do you. You are powerful and wonderful beyond belief and you shall not be forgotten after claiming a night in. I promise you!
What’s one thing you’re doing to cultivate a stronger sense of JOMO in your world? Drop it below or send me an email. I would love to chat all things FOMO with ya!