Relationships are a big part of our lives. Connection. Love. – A vital piece that we need to feel good in this whole human situation.
I often chat with clients and work with them as they’re sifting through some challenging relationships, situationships, or loneliness as young adults.
Everything around us (aka society, social media, social norms, family expectations) tells them that in order to be adulting correctly, things should look a certain way and happen in a certain order – and you better keep up, or else.
Well here’s the thing, when we succumb to this external pressure SO much that we lose sight of who we are, what we need and what the purpose of relationships even is, we run into trouble. Like big fat, slap in the face trouble from your gut and intuition. They tend to stand up real tall when we’ve been ignoring them long enough. They want and need to be heard, gosh darn it!!
Relationships should be the ultimate support layer to your human life onion. That does not mean they’ll always be light and perfect and wonderful. Relationship challenges us in many, many super awesome, and sometimes really painful ways.
So, as we’re drifting through young adult life, and looking for a partner or testing the water with someone new, locked into a long term gig, or trying to find yourself on a deeper level – here are some good things to keep in mind!
- You are first and foremost the creator of your own joy and contentment in your life. Try to own this for yourself first, knowing that someone else can always add to what you’ve already built! Like the cherry on top, ya know?
- You are completely worthy of love and support in your life, regardless of external situations. This is a right you have because you’re here on this planet and no one can ever take that from you.
- What is the purpose of the relationship you’re in or the one you’re longing for?
- What role do you want this relationship and partner to play in your life?
- If you were to have loving and supportive boundaries in place with a partner, what would that look like?
- Are you willing to give to someone else what you’re asking them to bring to you (ie. vulnerability, joy, excitement, trust, honesty)?
Think on these questions real hard for a minute. Journal them out! Do whatever you have to do, my friend! Relationship, connection, love, mmmmmmm — they can be such a joy for us OR bring us down real hard. I’d say, it’s worth being intentional about cultivating something really true and good for you!