Feel like you’re somewhat on the right track? Maybe you’ve got a lot going for you – some solid friends, a decent job, family who cares about you, a working mostly healthy body… Lots of the things that we’re told are supposed to make us happy… but that self doubt is just RELENTLESS.
Shouldn’t life feel fuller, easier, more fun by now? Shouldn’t that voice in the back of your head telling you all of the reasons that you suck or why you can’t change/go after what you want/take a risk be quiet by now?!
It can feel exhausting, confusing and frustrating to be doubting yourself and your worth day after day. It’s hard to quiet that silly voice that seems to be keeping you at a stand still and in constant questioning of yourself.
If you want to squash the relentless self doubt from sabotaging you from living your best, most vibrant and fulfilling life, I’ve put together 6 things you can do!
- Disrupt the thought pattern
- You’ve heard the statistic that as humans, 95% of our thoughts are repetitive and 80% of those are typically negative, right? Our brains really function as pretty simple machines a lot of the time, and so they don’t really like anything that’s new or uncertain. What are the stories that you repeat to yourself everyday? Do they support you and the life you want to lead? If not, how can you disrupt that shit? One technique is once you notice a similar story or pattern coming up for you about how much you suck, or why X will never work out, literally stopping and in your head saying “Nope. I choose love today in this moment.” See what changes!
- Talk out loud to someone about your fears and actually LISTEN to what they have to say
- Keeping with what we learning in approach number one, we repeat things to ourselves A LOT. Sometimes we aren’t really paying attention at all to how we’re talking to ourselves. I want to encourage you to speak your thoughts aloud. Share your fears, stories and worries with someone you love (like a friend, therapist, coach or family member) and see what they have to say about it. I want you to consider their response. Like if they tell you you’re actually really good at something you thought you were bad at, or that you’re not nearly as awkward as you make yourself out to be, can you let that sink in for a minute? Could they possibly offer a valuable perspective?
- Get out of comparison mode- no one else can do what you do the way you do it
- Do you ever notice that when self doubt comes up for you – it sounds a bit like “Well, I can’t do _____ because she already does it and that’s so much better than how I could do it?” EEEEEEK. This whole world we live in where we’re constantly comparing ourselves to other people is so much fun, ain’t it?! Nah. Squash self doubt by staying in your own lane. This is YOUR life. You have so much to offer. No one could ever do exactly what you do, the way you would do it because no one else is YOU. What a gift!
- Create a good things list
- Remember that whole negativity bias thing? Well, let’s give our brains some good things fuel to add into the mix. I ask MANY of my clients to start and keep a “good things” list at all times. Whenever anything positive happens, someone smiles at you, your coffee was perfect this morning, your co-worker told you how much they appreciate you, write that DOWN.
- Stop thinking everything is about you (It isn’t) – and I say this with SO much love.
- A lot of times self doubt will tell us that we’re constantly being judged and people probably think that we suck. The truth is that no one cares nearly as much about what you say/do as you do. I promise you that. We can all be pretty self absorbed. Feel free to make a fool of yourself, to risk messing up, to not do it perfectly because really, no one is noticing nearly as much as you are.
- Stop seeking validation for everything
- SO much of our lives are dictated but what is deemed “acceptable” by the people around us – your boss your parents, your best friend, a stranger on the internet (lololol). Being validated feels GOOD. We like to be liked. And yet, if you live your life and make all of your choices only when you feel it’ll be validated or approved of by other people, you are in for a ride my friend. No one lives in your body. No one has your mind. No one is in touch with your soul like you are. Stop seeking validation for every little thing. You’re okay. You can do this. Trust yourself.
Now go out and get after that life that gives you all the feels, that makes you feel free and grateful to be on this wild ride. I’ll be here cheering for you!
Looking for some more support? Maybe some extra tangible processing? I’ve curated a 40 minute video full of all of my most helpful tips, approaches and tangible exercises (that we’ll work through together) to help you learn how to ditch self doubt! Lets get to it! Download your FREE Self Doubt Video Training hereeeee!