You gotta believe.
| I saw this note on my beautiful mom’s mirror when I got home to New York last week. First, I paused, smiled and moved on. I have some very similar sticky notes on my mirrors in my house in Virginia. Apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, you know? But then I thought more about it. How amazing it is to have someone who is always working on her own stuff to look up to? She’s a really big part of why I am who I am and I’m so grateful for her. I often talk with my clients about the story they tell themselves, the inner dialogue that goes on (yes, we all have it!), the beliefs they hold about themselves. What we tell ourselves is really powerful. “I’m not good at math.” “I’ll never be successful.” “Everyone else is so much happier than I am.” “I’m such an awkward person.” “I’m such an anxious person I can never _____.” Sometimes when we’re unaware, we can paint a really scary picture of who you are or what the world can offer you… whether it be that absolutely no one likes you and you’ll never have the relationship you’re looking for, or that people are always judging you for the way you look, that you don’t deserve the promotion or that everything you do is wrong… On and on it goes! We can attach very tightly to the things we tell ourselves. Often times, so much of what we feel/believe isn’t exactly true. It’s not based on facts, or it’s a really, really old story that’s been solidified over time. There’s a tendency that our brain has to confirm our beliefs, to look for evidence to support what we tell ourselves, it’s called confirmation bias. Our brains really like to confirm our hypotheses. It speaks to the person centered, subjective experience we all have as humans. And the beauty of knowing about confirmation bias is that you can choose how to use it. What are you choosing to tell yourself? How are you speaking to yourself? Do you believe in YOU for YOU? It’s truly so powerful to shift from trying to control, shift, and bend into whatever version of “perfection” you’re telling yourself you need to meet, to befriending, accepting and truly learning to love the amazing human that you are. I believe in you. AN OFFERING: Pick one unhelpful belief you notice creeps in. Write it down. Let it exist. Then ask yourself, what else may be possible to believe here? What would feel really good to tell myself over and over again? Write it on a post it and stick that ish on your mirror. Let this practice of befriending yourself start today. Watch your world transform over time! |
